Suffocating to Breath

All my life I've carried anxiety. I had attacks not realizing what it really was, I just felt like it was something I was gonna deal with for the rest of my life. By the time I was in high school it increased, I hated going to malls, or crowded places, every day going to school felt overwhelming. Hell, even putting a dollar in the bus machine gave me anxiety. Worried about the machine not taking the bill and everyone in there mom looking pissed of cause you don't hurry up. As funny as that sounds it use to be a real problem, I'd make my best-friend do it for me. To the average person this problem sounds crazy. An anxiety attack. how can that be a real thing? Well, it is, and the best way I can describe it is, that it feels like your walls are closing in and your mind is against you, you feel trapped, being locked in your body, it almost becomes like a prison, a trap in your own mind and it gets harder to breathe. Sometimes if severe it can be confused with a heart attack.

Today I had an attack on my drive home, I choose to take a different approach I didn't drown my ears with music, or lie to myself and say I was okay. I choose to be alone and sit in silence with it. We have so many distractions that it's easy to forgot to stay present. I meditated on what my anxiety was trying to tell me, all I needed was to listen. There's a lot of things I fear; people, the unknown, crowded places, feeling stuck etc.

I realized I've become so judgmental of myself and others that it was holding me back from the person I'm meant to be. To heal on my journey, I have to accept things just as they are, and change what I can. Where did it become wrong to feel ? When did it become such a bad thing to be alone? Sometimes being alone can help us quiet the endless chatter. Through meditation we can hear what the heart is trying to say. Eventually the attack went away, it showed me that embracing my fears no longer gives it control to create over me. I took some deep breaths, in through the nose, out through the mouth, rotating the breath, it brought me calmness.

Fear wasn't ours to even begin with. If we can think back into our childhood we can almost always recall a time where someone told us we couldn't do something either cause it wasn't "practical" "we were gonna fail" "will get hurt" all these ideas causing anxiety leading into fear. Why did we start telling ourselfs that we couldn't? Why did we start listening to the little voices that don't make us feel good? Why not feed it with love and understanding? If theres a 50 percent chance things can go wrong why not take the other 50% thought were it could go right. This is our body, its a shell we live in so why not take care of its mind by feeding it with what is good for us. It's possible for us to get sick over what we hold onto, So why not hold onto something good? Why not embrace who we our and develop from the negatives, every situation life presents is a chance to grow.

ACTION STEPS FOR ANXIETY ATTACKS:

1) BREATH DEEPLY

2) UNDERSTAND THE ATTACK/LISTEN TO YOUR

3) TALK THROUGH IT / MEDIATE ON IT

4) ACCEPT AND MOVE FORWARD

The more you practice the simpler it becomes, we have to change old patterns in order to develop new ones.

Love, Iman

Helpful Mediation music and breathing techniques I've found:

To learn more about what anxiety feels like visit: